Remember, “Friday’s Finding Your Funny” is dedicated to good, clean fun! Know someone whom you would like to nominate? Submit the nomination in the “Contact Me” section of my blog including a link to the material.
In honor of Shark Week
If this car could talk, here’s what he would say…
“If you don’t get off my back side I’m going to chew you up and spit you out like the shrimp you are. You think you can swim with the sharks? You can. Until I think it’s time for dinner. Num, num, num! Swim, swim as fast as you can. I’ll catch you just like I did Ann, Dan, and Jan.”
Check out this video of a shark encounter. If a shark swam up on me, you would need more than a few bleeps. I would require toilet paper and wetsuit disinfectant and quite possibly a defibrillator.
I have just one lyric that comes to mind for people who swim with sharks, “God is great. Beer is good. People are crazy.”
I’m sure this bike has plenty to say.
“Dude! You’re messing up my aerodynamics with your legs wide open like that. Not only are you creating too much wind resistance, you’re creating a scene. You look ridiculous! There goes my image of being a cool dude chick magnet. Notice you have no chick on the back of your bike. Hmmm. Told ya! And by the way, dude, the checkered flag is for the finish line. You’re confusing people out on the road.”
I have just one lyric that comes to mind for this guy, “God is great. Beer is good. People are crazy.”
If this car could talk, it would say …
“How did I get this lousy job? I never wanted to be a rental car. These out of town idiots should not be allowed on the roads. Mountain passes are not for Chevy Impalas. Who misses mountain warning signs?”
“I didn’t get married, but I almost had to change my name from Chevy Impala to Chevy Impaled. My insides were nearly gouged by those rocks we drove over. I am not a dog who likes his belly rubbed. I am a rental who shouldn’t be rendered useless. I know I’m ranting, but wouldn’t you be? That’s it. I’ve had E-nough of this rental car ride. I’m putting my foot down. Wait. Bad idea. I don’t want to careen over a mountain-side.”
I have just one lyric that comes to mind for these tourists, “God is great. Beer is good. People are crazy.”
If cars could talk, this one would say …
“I used to have a horrible time with diarrhea until I found my good old friend Pepto Bismol. I’m so grateful that I don’t need to stop at every gas station and roadside rest stop, I am tickled pink. I still backfire every once in awhile, but we only have the fumes to deal with – not the runs. What do you expect? I’m from Wisconsin. I have beer farts don’t ya know.” (I can’t wait until my friends from behind the cheddar curtain read this.)
I have just one lyric that comes to mind for this little Pepto Bismol pipsqueak of a car owner, “God is great. Beer is good. People are crazy.”
If cars could talk, this one would say…
“I have a gas problem too. Pinky the Pepto Bismol car might be the only model willing to put up with my Pepe Le Pew skunk scent. (Ode de stink …. ahhh. Oh, they stink!) Is she single? I think I’m in loooooove with Pinky. We’re a match made in heaven, I’d say. Honk! Honk! Hubba! Hubba! I only have headlights for you, Pinky. If I had hydraulics, I would be hopping happier than the Easter Bunny. You can crash my party, anytime Pinky. You make my speakers go BOOM BOOM.”
I have just one lyric that comes to mind for Pepe, “God is great. Beer is good. People are crazy.”
If bikes could talk, this one would say …
“I wish my mom wouldn’t have read me the story ‘The Little Engine That Could’ so many times. Now I have to finish huffing it to the top of this mountain. I think I can. I think I can. What? Am I crazy? I think I can. I think I can. I think I watched one too many inspirational sports videos is what I think. I think I can. I think I can. Feel the burn. I know I can. I think I can. I think I can. Whatever. This sucks. Where’s the downhill portion of this course?”
I have just one lyric that comes to mind for my mountain biking friend, “God is great. Beer is good. People are crazy.”
If cars could talk this one would say …
“The FDA inspected each and every one of these watermelon. They are fully organic and were grown in a completely safe garden zone. I overheard the inspectors say as long as the watermelon seeds were planted more than 500 feet from the junk yard, there shouldn’t be any biohazards leeching into the growing field. Don’t worry. The drivers even hosed out my bed after their last trash haul. I’m sure there was no residue remaining. Completely safe food handling precautions were adhered to. No red flags here. Never mind my paint color. Yeah – never mind that.”
I have just one lyric that comes to mind for my new truck bed watermelon selling friends, “God is great. Beer is good. People are crazy.”
If cars could talk this one would say,
“I wish you would watch your kids people. I am a finger painting experiment gone badly – very bad. I was once a sparkling specimen of a car. Because your butt was too lazy to leave the recliner and see why it got so quiet, I’ve got to drive around looking worse than Barney, Elmo, and the Smurfs combined. I did not think it was funny when you changed my horn to play the Barney song every time you tooted it. I’m not getting into the spirit of this thing. Not gonna happen. I would have thought you would have learned your lesson from the last time your clan got quiet. Need I remind you of the fight you got into with the Mrs.? Remember? She wasn’t any too happy when the kids painted her up with permanent marker. How many scrubbings did it take to see her perty little face again? Exactly! A lot. Get me over to the Suds and Soak now. Right now. And bring lots of quarters. You’re gonna need ‘em. Otherwise, I’m digging my tires in and we’re not going anywhere.”
I have just one lyric that comes to mind for my colorful car friend, “God is great. Beer is good. People are crazy.”
If bikes could talk this one would say…
“I’ve heard of working remotely, but this might be pushing the limit. Since when does a biker babe check her email and Facebook status instead of hanging onto her hubby? The Phone Princess obviously missed the motorcycle safety training that instructed her to hang onto the love handles in case of sudden stops. (The woman trailing her in an SUV trying to capture a better shot of this incident might have missed a few safety classes herself!)”
By the way, I know you can’t really tell that Phone Princess is texting, but you’ll just have to trust me. Every time I got close enough to take a better pic, the bikers were looking right at me. I didn’t want to be totally obvious they were going to play a minor blog role. They might have hopped off that bike and whooped my butt.
I have just one lyric that comes to mind for this status checking side kick, “God is great. Beer is good. People are crazy.”
Yes, God is great. Beer is ok, especially on a hot day. And people are DEFINITELY crazy, yours truly included.
What crazy cars have you seen in your travels?
Have you ever been a crazy car owner? Let us look under the hood … do tell us the story.